Posted by Anonymous on 2017/10/23 under Life Dear Special Cat I love you dearly, I really do, and I know that you can't help being the way you are, but sometimes, just sometimes I really wish I hadn't kept you… I can deal with the little things, like you getting stuck behind the door and being unable to figure out the simple process of turning around, or the way you will pee on any piece of paper or plastic bag that is left anywhere within your reach. I can even deal with the fact that you need to sit on the lap of any person that is using the toilet. These are things that over the past ten years I have grown to love about you. You are my special cat, and you enrich my life. I am only human though, and sometimes the things you do can get on my nerves to the point where I just want to be done with you and toss you out the nearest window. I never would, but really… This morning I was all dressed and ready for work, just looking for my shoes when I found the present you'd left me. WHY you have to regurgitate your hairballs in doorways and nowhere else perplexes me, and usually I'd just go "oh special cat" shake my head and clean it up. Today, however, my sock-clad foot found your little deposit and, in my panic, I shook my foot vigorously, and managed to get cat guk all over my Armani suit, meaning not only did I have to change, I will now have to take my hairball-covered clothing to the dry cleaner's on the way to work. Not the best start to the day in anyone's book. I do love you, and would never seriously consider drowning you in the bath, even when you face the wrong way in the litter box and poop over the edge instead of into the tray, but some days you try my patience. Keep being you, Special Cat, but maybe try being you in places where my sock-covered feet do not need to tread. Thanks, Your loving owner.